Friday, October 2, 2009

Quite Gay...

This video is thoroughly gay, and I love it. I can't stop watching it for some reason.

A friend of mine found it on a site called HomoShame. A site run by gay guys who post things that make them ashamed to be gay. While I do admit that there are many times I feel "homoshame" I do find it a little troubling that we would have to be ashamed of our own. The situation raises quite the dilemma for me.

I have always been one to champion the rights of the extremely gay (the cripplingly effeminate, if you will). I hate it when people have to specify "no femmes" on their connexion profile or on craigslist posts (not that I read those...). While I'm not the most masculine person, I'm also not classified as a "femme", but I still get offended when people say things like that. Some of my best friends belong in that category and I don't know what I would do without them. I see absolutely nothing wrong with being "quite gay." I don't believe in telling someone to act less gay.

I do, however, have a problem with how people express their gayness sometimes. The problem is, I have no idea where to draw the line, or even if I have a right to want to draw a line. For instance, I have an intense hatred of leather and the bears who enjoy it, but I have no problem with drag queens. I'm not trying to tell people what they should or shouldn't be, but wouldn't it be nice if all gays could have the class of Tim Gunn and the looks of JP Calderon?

I really have no idea what I'm trying to say. I'm not hoping to change any minds with this post. I went into writing this feeling like I had a profound message, but the only moral to this story I can think of right now is: Leather is gross and there's nothing wrong with a womanly man.

The End.


shaantvis said...

That reminds me of my favorite quote by Virginia Woolf that comes to mind: "It is fatal to be a man or woman pure and simple: It is better to be a woman manly or a man womanly." I don't consider myself either extremely masculine nor extremely feminine. I agree with you that very effeminate men shouldnt be marginalized but then again it comes down to a question of attraction.

Original Mohomie said...

Every culture has its extreme expressions. I can't stomach most "spiritual whisper" voices in Sunday school. You know, the kind that are meant to prove how sincere and righteous the speaker is? But for some people, it's more or less "natural", how they were raised or truly sincere. So I try not to judge too harshly. And ultra-bubbly, perky "look how happy and sunshiny I am" types? Puke. But for some, it's fairly natural. For others, it's affected and fake. It's the affected stuff in all cultures that totally turns me off, and I think it's fair to criticize such dramatic masks. It's just hard, sometimes, to know who is sincere and who has learned to be all affected, so I typically don't criticize on a personal level.

I see no problem in saying, "Do your thing if that's what floats your boat, but I am just turned off by ______ (drag, leather, femmeness, butchness, people who scrape their forks on their teeth, etc)." Some dudes don't like tom boy behavior or prissiness in girls. Some girls don't like meat-head demeanor or uber-softness in guys. There's someone for everyone. :-)