Friday, October 2, 2009

Quite Gay...

This video is thoroughly gay, and I love it. I can't stop watching it for some reason.

A friend of mine found it on a site called HomoShame. A site run by gay guys who post things that make them ashamed to be gay. While I do admit that there are many times I feel "homoshame" I do find it a little troubling that we would have to be ashamed of our own. The situation raises quite the dilemma for me.

I have always been one to champion the rights of the extremely gay (the cripplingly effeminate, if you will). I hate it when people have to specify "no femmes" on their connexion profile or on craigslist posts (not that I read those...). While I'm not the most masculine person, I'm also not classified as a "femme", but I still get offended when people say things like that. Some of my best friends belong in that category and I don't know what I would do without them. I see absolutely nothing wrong with being "quite gay." I don't believe in telling someone to act less gay.

I do, however, have a problem with how people express their gayness sometimes. The problem is, I have no idea where to draw the line, or even if I have a right to want to draw a line. For instance, I have an intense hatred of leather and the bears who enjoy it, but I have no problem with drag queens. I'm not trying to tell people what they should or shouldn't be, but wouldn't it be nice if all gays could have the class of Tim Gunn and the looks of JP Calderon?

I really have no idea what I'm trying to say. I'm not hoping to change any minds with this post. I went into writing this feeling like I had a profound message, but the only moral to this story I can think of right now is: Leather is gross and there's nothing wrong with a womanly man.

The End.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

October MoHo Post

In response to Abelard's call to action, and in light of having nothing to do today, I have decided to respond to this month's MoHo topic: Where are you in your journey?

How did you get to where you are today?

I've written about this before so I won't go into detail about the beginnings. Where I am today is a good place. My family is surprisingly accepting of me and my boyfriend, and so far they seem to be welcoming us as a regular couple. When my parents first found out about me they wanted to change me and told me that I was too young to know I wasn't straight. I had my mom read "In Quiet Desperation" and it helped her to realize that it's not something I can change. I think it also gave her false hope that I would stay in the church though. Time has been my biggest ally in gaining family acceptance. Things might seem shitty at first, but in time they really do get better.

Are you happy with where you are? why or why not?

I am very happy with where I am right now. I couldn't have dreamed that things would be how they are now. When I was a self-hating teenager, I thought that I would have to choose to either be gay, or to be with my family. I never could have imagined that I could have both. Sure there are things I wish were better, but overall I am very satisfied with where I'm at.

Where do you see yourself in the future?

Location wise, I have no idea. I know we'll eventually have to move out of Utah County if we really want to have a productive life as a gay couple, but I don't know where we'll end up. In 10 years I would hope that me and my boyfriend will be settled down somewhere, married, maybe with a kid, and life will be good. That's the goal, at least.

What roadblocks do you have and/or have overcome?

I think I've talked on my blog before about all the roadblocks I've encountered. The main roadblock I see in the future is finding a convenient state where my boyfriend and I can get legally married. Why can't we have any west coast states with gay marriage? (damn you, California!)

What advice do you have for others following a similar path that you have?

Anything I have to say here might be either good or bad advice. A lot depends on your situation. Be very careful about who you come out to when you're first coming out. Don't freak out when the shit hits the fan, just keep calm and it will get better. And finally, sometimes it might be better to give people a reason to suspect you're gay and let that idea stew for a while. I did this with my siblings and it gave them time to accept it before they finally asked about it.

What advice do you have for family and friends?

I probably don't have any advice that hasn't been given before. Just be patient and accepting.

So yeah, I realize that was a really boring post (my fault, not the topic's fault), but there you have it.