Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Whole Family Knows Now

So my mom talked to my brother tonight and told him I'm gay. He'd already suspected and done some research on it, so he was already very understanding. He called me shortly after to say that he and his family love me, and me being gay doesn't change anything. The thing that made me a little sad is that my nephew cried when my brother told him that I wouldn't be baptizing him, but there's nothing I can really do about that. I didn't even know my nephew liked me that much. Haha. I'm glad I have such a loving family, and I'm glad that they are all so understanding. My mom said yesterday that my sister and my brother are a lot further in their acceptance of homosexuality than she was when she found out about me. I'm actually surprised at how well they are taking it. I figured when my sister found out she was going to cry every day for a year and then once a month every year after that, but she seems very accepting. And I like it that my brother keeps saying that me being gay doesn't change anything. I feel so lucky to have the family I do. They've come a long way in the past year and a half. I almost feel like thanking my cousin for outing me. Almost.

The question now remains: What do I do about extended family? Do I deal with them as they come, or do I come out publicly (via facebook or my other blog) and get it all over with? I really want to come out on facebook and see how many friends I lose, but I don't feel that it would be right to let the extended family know in that way. Thoughts?


BigRedHammer said...

I'd talk with your mom about it. It's likely she'll feel the effects of coming out to your extended family more than even you. She'll know how to approach it.


Captain Midnight said...

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It's really just for her that I'm even pausing to wonder what I should do. I don't want to create more stress for her if there's no reason for me to do so.

Alan said...

This is exactly why I think coming out to friends & family has to be done in light of whether it'd be best for _them_ to know, whether they would be better off or not. Props for being so considerate of your mom and the impact on her.

Esau said...

I took the "when they come asking, tell em'" approach and it has seemed to have worked well so far.

Gay LDS Actor said...

I'm glad your family has reacted positively. Mine did, too. It's so much easier that way. The majority of my partner's family doesn't even know I exist, which I know is hard for him.

My niece was disappointed I wouldn't be able to baptize her, either (although I just assumed her dad would do it anyway), but like you say, there's nothing one can do about that.

As for your extended family, I have found that coming out on a case by case basis has been easiest for. The last of my dad's side of the family all know about me now (and I'm not close enough with anybody on my mom's side to even care, although I think my uncle knows). Thus far, everyone in my family (both immediate and extended) has no treated me differently and have all welcomed my partner with open arms, so that has pleased me a great deal.

Hope things continue to go well for you and, again, it's good to hear that your family has reacted positively.