Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Defense

I didn't write a Mother's day post. I love my mom very much, but I'm not one for writing sentimental posts about her. My sister did though, and something she wrote just barely hit me. When I read it, I didn't think much of it, but the significance of it just hit me. On her blog she thanked my dad for always teaching us to treat my mom right. If we ever said anything mean to my mom and my dad was around, he would immediately say, "Don't say things like that to your mom!" and you could tell he meant it. My parents were never the type to threaten or anything like that, and my dad has always been very calm. He was very passionate about making sure we treated my mom with love though.

It used to bug me when I was younger. I thought, "Let mom defend herself. If we say something mean, let her deal with it herself." But tonight I realized that I love and respect how my dad defends my mom. She is perfectly capable of defending herself, and he's not fighting her battles, but he loves her and if he hears someone treat her less than kindly he will make sure to let them know that's not okay. And that's not just because she's a woman. I think my dad would do that for any of his kids if someone were mean to them.

My realization tonight was that this mentality has been deeply embedded in my life. Without realizing it, my dad's example has taught me to care what others say about the people I love. If someone ever says anything mean about my boyfriend, I'm going to let them know that's not okay, and I would hope he would do the same for me. My boyfriend is completely more than capable of fighting his own battles, but the point of it is not to fight someone else's battles. I think the point of standing up for them is to show your love and respect. You don't talk shit about someone I love and get away with it. I'm not going to turn a blind eye and say, "It's not my battle." If it involves someone I love, you'd better be sure as hell it's my battle, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise.

1 comment:

Ezra said...

You're a wise man. I think sticking up for someone is really noble--but once you master sticking up for those you love, you can challenge yourself and start trying to stick up for those you don't understand or like... that's a really tough thing to do.