Thursday, May 7, 2009

Acceptance

As Austin pointed out to me today, it's been a while since my last post. Now that school is out, I'll try to post more regularly.

Last night my bf and I went to my mom's house for leftover fajitas. We had a Cinco de Mayo party on Monday (so it was actually Cuatro de Mayo) and had so much food leftover that my mom decided to have a repeat on Wednesday.

My sister was there with all her kids, and my brother was there with all his kids. Neither of their spouses could come, so they were a little overwhelmed with their kids. As usual, I took turns holding babies so my sister wouldn't go crazy with stress. It was crazy; all the babies wanted to be held and the kids kept fighting over everything, so the parents needed a lot of help. My bf, who usually feels awkward around my nieces and nephews, actually held one of the babies and played with the kids.

On the drive home, my bf said he wasn't sure if my brother and sister would be alright with him holding their kids. He felt like it might be weird for them to have a stranger holding their babies, and he especially thought they might not like it after they find out he's my bf. I assured him that they wouldn't mind one bit.

Then today my mom talked to me about last night. She said it looked like my bf seemed more comfortable last night with the family, and I told her about his worries from the night before. She said, "Oh of course he should hold the babies!"

It made me feel good to talk to my mom like that today. We didn't specifically mention me being gay, but she knows I am, and she knows I'm with my bf. It just felt good to have a normal conversation about my relationship that didn't focus on how my mom is sad I'm not active in the church anymore. For the first time it felt like my bf and I are becoming a normal couple in her eyes.

I don't know how accepting of us she really is, but the conversation today still showed progress, and I can just keep hoping that things continue to get better.

5 comments:

Grant Haws said...

I agree - that is definitely progress both for you, your mom, and your boyfriend.

Ezra said...

Awwww, babies.

It's strange to have a normal conversation with anyone in my life were I mention dating (or lack thereof, in my case) but it's getting easier.

Alan said...

This is great! Progress is made one heart at a time. Would that it could happen faster and with more hearts like your mom's.

Austin said...

YAY! You posted :)

I'm so happy to hear bout this! It makes me feel less anxious about letting my romantic life and family life collide.
Congrats to you, your BF and your mom!

BigRedHammer said...

This brought something to mind. I was given good advice before I came out to my family and I think it would apply in many aspects of a gay man's life.

I was told that when I came out, whatever attitude I took with my parents would likely be the attitude they would adopt. That effect can last for years. So when I came out I was positive, upbeat, and happy to share the truth with them. It worked!

If your boyfriend is uneasy and uncomfortable around your nieces and nephews, that's likely the attitude your brothers and sisters will adopt. They'll sense his hesitancy. He should have fun with the kids and when you tell your siblings he's gay, they'll already feel comfortable with him.