Tuesday, January 20, 2009

What To Do?

I'm not ashamed of being gay, or of letting people know that I'm gay. Until now, the only reason I didn't tell more people about my sexuality was that I didn't want to tell the wrong type of person and have them go running to the Honor Code Office at BYU. Now that I have transferred to UVU and all my BYU worries are behind me, I'm wondering what is stopping me from telling people now. I thought I'd ask for some advice from the gay mormon blogosphere. What do I do now? Do I just tell friend after friend until I feel sufficiently publicized? Or do I make some blanket statement via blog post or facebook status update? Or do I just wait for people to ask me? Hmm...


Ezra said...

Personally? If you are in a new place making new friends, wait for them to ask about your love life, and then mention it. But I really not see the need to broadcast that you're gay, any more than a straight person needs to announce that they are straight. Just be you, and people will notice or ask if they even care.

Scott said...

You do whatever you're comfortable with.

Coming out is a personal thing. Some people need to take it slowly and be in control of who knows and of how the information gets out. Others (like myself) quickly get to the point where they don't care who knows.

I actually "came out" to my immediate family. My wife told a few close friends and co-workers. I came out to my ward in a testimony meeting. I came out on Facebook, but only in my status ("Scott is celebrating National Coming Out Day by coming out on Facebook"). I also wrote an email to my boss (the last person who I actually cared whether he knew or not).

Other than that, I haven't actually come right out and told anyone--I just haven't cared if they found out. So I don't hesitate to be myself--to join GLBT groups on Facebook, for example--but I'm sure I have friends and acquaintances who don't pay attention to that sort of thing who still don't know.

Anyway... the point is, you do what you feel comfortable with.

Or maybe that's not quite right. I wasn't really comfortable telling my ward in testimony meeting that I'm gay... But it felt like the right thing to do, so you do what feels right.

Alan said...

What Scott said.