Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Sister drama again

So I posted that Keith Olbermann clip (about Prop 8) on my regular blog - yes, this isn't my main blog. I have a blog I use more often where I'm not anonymous... and not gay. Well... not AS gay - and my sister has obviously been upset by it. She made a post on her blog about all the things frustrating her right now, and included in the list was Prop 8. She talked about how it made her sad, but she knew it was wrong because God said so. I'm not sure when God descended from the heavens to preach intolerance against the gays, maybe when Pres. Monson encouraged members to support Prop 8, but that's not what really troubles me. It troubles me that I can sense that my sister is FINALLY starting to comprehend that I'm gay, and the route she is taking is the "Homosexuality Is Wrong And Can Be Overcome" route. I've already been through this with my parents. It took me months to get my mom to understand that homosexuality is not a phase or a state of mind that can be changed with hard work and gumption. I'm not looking forward to going through that with my sister at the moment. She might be ready to talk about it, but I'm not. I'm very happy with who I am, and though I am experiencing some pretty severe anxiety about school, I am happier than I've ever been in my life. I don't want to suddenly have my sister "all up in my bidness" telling me that I'm not really happy because I'm not doing what she believes God wants me to do. I know I'll eventually have to go through this with her, and with my brother and other sister as well, but I kind of want to wait until the anxiety of school is over. We'll see what happens. 


Scott said...

"It took me months to get my mom to understand that homosexuality is not a phase or a state of mind that can be changed with hard work and gumption."

I hear you. I was very frustrated when the first sister I came out to jumped all over me as though my coming out to her was a prelude to leaving the Church, leaving my wife and kids, and living it up in gay bars and going home with a different guy every night.

But eventually I realized that it had taken me twenty years to be able to accept that I'm gay and that that wasn't going to change, and to come to terms with the fact and find peace in it. I figured it was probably somewhat unreasonable to expect anyone I came out to to be able to accept the news instantly, without pause.

Amazingly, some have actually been able to do so, and I've been grateful for that, but I've learned to be patient with those who haven't understood, and I'm doing my best to gently guide them to an understanding.

Hang in there, and enjoy the peace and confidence that have come from accepting yourself!

Chester said...

I came out a year ago. I was amazed at how well my family took me being gay, even though they did have some problems with it. Now me and my fiance come over for dinner with the family almost every week. Not everyone's on board with it though. Like you, my sister had (and has) major reservations, even though she's nice and civil to us when we see her.

I think the important thing is to keep the communication lines open, and if looks like you're doing that. When everyone stops talking - that's when you really have to worry.